Perfectionism

What the perfectionism is? One hundred percent state? Infallibility? Being beautiful, smart and in a good shape all the time?

Some people die to do everything right. They do care of their appearance. They want to have the best results at work/in school. They want to be right in every single thing. They´re scared of mistakes and failure...

Though perfectionists watch their back all the time, I don´t think they were born like this. I assume that they experienced something bad which had lowered their self-esteem and now they try not to go through mockery once again.

For someone this may look ridiculous but believe me, it´s not. When person survived things which caused him deep depression, the only thing he would want is "nothing like that again!" And right this situation will lead him into two different paths...

The first one would take him to the hell. Not literally but well... deep depression breaks human´s sanity and if it´s not cured at the early stage, the person will go mad. In extreme case, he might commit a suicide...

And the second choice? The victim will promise to himself that things get better only if nothing similar happens again. And that´s why he will be doing whatever till he becomes "perfect".

What are advantages and disadvantages of these things?

ADVANTAGES:

the main motto: "never give up!"
person puts his effort into everything he does
sense for details
diligence and hard work
purposefulness, ability to work towards success
indefatigability
great feeling of doing things for 100 %
gain of higher self-esteem

DISADVANTAGES:

distress upon breach of certain rules
high requirements on other people
loss of humanity, the onset of the robot
overwork
possible fear of incompleteness
self-importance
obstinacy
selfishness, cynicism, rigidity

As I´ve already mentioned, perfectionists usually want doing things for 100 %. But everyone knows, even they themselves, this is never gonna happen. There´s nobody perfect and things just won´t change. No matter of hearing sentences like "do your best", "do as much as possible", people aren´t installed to avoid errors.

From time to time, someone appears and tells you that "you´re not good enough" but so what? F**k that sh*t! No one can be good at everything and everyone is perfect in his own way. If you think you do all what´s in your power, you really probably do. Don´t lose your nerves for someone who never appreciate your effort. No one can judge because no one is without sins and faults. And of course, when someone refuses you, no matter if it´s in love or in your way to your occupational or personal success, remember all those great personalities that were refused also. They had to go through many rejections until they reached their dreams. They never gave up and in the end, it worked! So it means that though someone might have a bad opinion, the other one could love you/ admire you in any case and that´s the point! Don´t care about things/people/ways that go nowhere and find or create another one/ones to your (new) happiness.

If you get into embarrassing position, don´t take it too serious! Everyone´s felt awkward at least once in a life. So take a deep breath and you better laugh for your little "mistake". No one will remember it tomorrow, anyway. Mostly because people have their own worries, too.

Remind yourself how great person and friend you are. Don´t forget all your qualities and never let anyone lower your self-confidence. Don´t maltreat yourself for every small bad thing you do or say. If you feel sorry, feel free to say it but if you´re sure that problem is on the other side, don´t do yourself down.

The most important thing is: Do whatever you like to do and don´t listen to other ones´ stupid and hateful words... Many people stopped doing something just because they had little or no support. In worse they kept receiving threats and insults. But in real, the most common reason for this was that those people has never done anything useful in this f**king world. They usually try to get some attention, nothing more... So again! Believe in yourself and listen to your inner voice of heart.

If none of these arguments didn´t help and you´re still a big, stubborn perfectionist, one more advise for ya: You don´t need to be perfect, it´s sufficient when other ones will think so.

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(Randynep, 26. 1. 2021 21:42)

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