If it is love, it is meant to be forever
What lasts shorter than the expiration date of an yoghurt in your fridge? ,,Love" between some couples nowadays. They meet in the morning, comment each other´s pics on Facebook before the noon, they take part onto an expensive dinner at lunch, then get engaged in the afternoon and end up with divorce in the evening of the same day...
Yeah, seems too funny to be true but this happens quite often in real. Have you ever compared the love you keep on seeing every single day with the one in the past? Some may say that it was because of low status of women, who had to respect the men, they depended on them and had no right to have their own mind or so. At some point of the time they even had no choice. They had to marry the one that wanted them back. Or even worse, they had to marry the one that was accepted or chosen by their parents.
We´re not in the Middle Ages, thankfully, but it was still not that long ago, when the relationships just didn´t end, no matter what. There were so little divorces which is now far away from the current number of divorces. Why this is happening? Are girls just free and spoilt enough that they are never gonna be happy with the "averages"? Or are boys bigger liars that girls cannot believe them anymore?
Whatever the truth is, the main aim of my today´s article is to show the good aspects of love and how the keep the relationships last. First of all, we all need to know and realize that the end of a relationship is a fault of both sides. Maybe sometimes it seems that you, a girl, do whatever you can, in order to keep your man satisfied but have you ever asked him if it makes him actually happy?
I think that making your partner happy is not just giving him all the things you have, you agree with him in every single thing or stand up for him in a fight because you want to protect him. There are so many articles out there in which you can find "what to do" for your dreamboy. But before you start doing something, a girl should assure herself it is the same thing her boy dreams of.
Girls tend to do things they want their men to do for them. Perhaps they just don´t realize it but they think that if she gives him a nice present, he gives her back some, too and in the same time. But sometimes you would be surprised how little they actually require. They don´t care about presents, they do not need you to act like a strong man and they definitely do not want you to plan his life.
A lot of men just want their girl to smile, they would appreciate if she listened to him for a while about the things he is interested in, he wants to have a warm meal, little space just for himself and of course, sex. Boys don´t think in the same way as girls do, but they don´t do it on purpose. So my advice is to listen to your boyfriend and ask him directly what he actually wants, before you´re willing to buy an another piece of clothes or whatever you want to. Men have no problem with answering and believe it or not, they will tell you exactly what makes them happy.
An advice for men? Girls do want the exact opposite. They do not want to answer directly. They love if their men show how much they care, how much they try and guess what they actually like. They believe their men know them enough to buy or do something they really like. I know, some men just can´t know but I assume that all girls love the same - surprises, no matter how small or big they will be. Anything surprising from time to time and given truly from his heart and mind will be good to make her smile.
Another thing which help to keep relationships going is communication. No relationship (whether it is relationship between children and parents or between two friends) exists if people don´t talk to each other. It was said million times but I want to say that again. People have to talk and it is not just a girl issue. They are sure talkative but men want to be heard, as well. If they really love someone, they want to share every single detail with the partner. They sometimes might talk about something a girl is not interested in but well, they have their own interests, too, They need to listen if a girl talks about feminine stuff, so why the girl should not listen to the proceedings of a football match of his favorite team? They tend to talk less but they sure tell you something that is important for them and it is opportunity for a girl to show how much she cares.
On the other hand, it doesn´t mean girls don´t want man´s attention. All women want the same - time and interest in what she is saying. Women hate to be ignored and they absolutely love if her darling looks at her and say "what is on your mind, hun?" Men need to get used to it but women need to talk and they have many things on their minds. No matter how stupid, small it seems to you, a man, for her it might be a big thing. If she opens her heart, don´t let it down. But of course, girls, don´t bother men in case he is watching football or a movie he was dying to see. It´s the only time he is out of use and you need to deal with it. You have to wait 2 hours if it is not a too serious issue to be solved right away. This will make him happy, too! Don´t forget.
What else is connected with communication? It is the only way you solve your arguments. There is not place for silence. no place for insults or remorses, no place for violence. If you have a problem, talk it out! It´s easy like that. You think your partner is the one who should apologize? You believe you were a good one now? And so what? No argument will be solved if both sides are decided to be stubborn. It is important to think of the severity of the argument and if the other one didn´t insult you (maybe even on purpose), don´t care who started to fight or why it actually started and suggest your partner to "be okay, again" by setting the cards on your table and tell him directly how you´re feeling inside and what is making you pissed off. If the other one doesn´t know what is making you feel upset, he will never have the chance to change it. Or try to make a compromise. One stops doing this and the other one stops doing that.
The other useful advice is, as mentioned above, a compromise! You don´t have to step aside every single time, because the other one will use it out the next time, but if you can agree on making little compromises, it might help you a lot. For example: ,,Let´s watch your football match this time but on Saturday, I wanna watch my favorite romantic comedy, okay?" or ,,Today I´d like to spend some time with my friends, but we can make a trip on weekend and have time only for two of us. Deal?" Every person has his own imagine of what he truly wants and don´t want to miss it, so make compromises so both sides will feel equal.
Trust each other. But yeah, trust needs to be gained and it requires some time, too. Firstly you need to show your partner he can trust you in everything you do or say. There are people who survived a lot and in today´s cold world, people change really fast. Do not get offended if he or she needs a proof, from time to time. It is said: ,,Trust but verify!" so don´t get him or her wrong. However, you need to know the lines and don´t become overly jealous. Men hate it more than anything. They need to see that a girl trusts them and doesn´t look after thim all the time. And if he has never made anything that conviced you to think other, stay calm and be loyal to his words. A good trust is beneficial for couples.
Furthermore, trust is not only about belief that your partner is absolutely faithful to you or his words always match his acts (though it should) but well, don´t be scared and open up for him. Or her. Tell him or her the biggest secrets you have ever had. Even the ones you don´t want to talk about. The more you show how much you trust your partner and you aren´t afraid to talk about your fears, disgusts or anything else, the more the partner will feel comfortable with you. He will feel sense a better connection and your relationship will seem to be deeper than ever. You don´t need to be scared of being judged or misunderstood. The true partner will try to understand, he won´t laugh!
Next thing are compliments. Keep in mind you have to be honest and say that from your heart. Don´t assume that your love knows how much you love his or her eyes. You need to say that out loud. He or she needs and wants to know how much you love him. And boys love compliments, too. And you would be even surprised how much! You like your boyfriend´s voice on the phone? Stop telling him what you wanted in first and tell him what you think of his voice instead. All of sudden! People feel pleasantly when they hear any kind of compliments. You maybe even make his or her day by saying some. Even the appreciation is kind of compliment, too. Does your girl makes the best meat with rice you´ve ever tasted? Go ahead and praise her. Say that you appreciate she cares for your stomach and that she is the best person you´ve met. Girl, say to your boyfriend how much you love when he covers you with the blanket in the living room when you had fallen asleep during the film you wanted to watch and thus he had to give up on his sport. Find something! I bet you´ll find a lot of the things. Think of the details!
And the most important thing - Love!!! him or her no matter what happens. Sh*t happens all the time so you need to be prepared for everything. You need to show your care daily, your love, even on days you would like to slap him or her in the face for saying you that and that, and things will be alright! Love is what makes relationship alive for years. I personally love seeing old couples who hold hands with each other even they are like 70 years old. It is so cute. They have such a great relationship, I always think. But I know it took both of them to build it. They had good and bad times but they stayed! They survived everything with each other, side by side and here they are. In love! So try to forgive your partner for ignoring you last week when he was tired because of work and forgive your partner she was mad at you when she was having "her days" and kiss her lips instead. Love each other and show it! A kiss? A hug? A gentle caress? A sex? Whatever your love wants to, give it to him or her. These things are not supposed to be only at the beginning of the love. They need to be kept and used over and over again throughout they life. Find out what the other one likes and do it! Try to find something you might love about the other one every single day, remind yourself why you chose this person 4 years ago, how he or she captured your attention and heart and you´ll be surprised what it will cause. But never forget to take her into your arms when she is crying and never miss a chance to tell your boyfriend you didn´t mean all those crazy sh*t when you were angry last night. Tell each other "I love you!" and your partner will be happy!
So, try hard and never give up. Every single problem, if it is small or not, can be solved and needs both sides´ interest for the solution. Try anything in order to not lose your beloved person and try to avoid "break-ups" or "divorce" for useless reasons. You think the other one will be better? Don´t forget that even your 3-lasting relationship was full of love and hope at the beginning, too. Remember how much you loved his hair and body at your very first day. Compare it to your thoughts and believe that every single relationship has some plus and minus. What makes you unhappy or mad about one person, might means that about the other one will not make but maybe after 3 years of "love", you find out his worse features and you´ll regret that your first love was sooo great, you would take him back!
Love is about trust, compromises, love, communication and friendship... and about a lot of nerves. If you do your best to have all, you´re on a good way to have great relationship!
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(Charleskeerb, 7. 9. 2021 5:00)